Have you lost weight? No! I've got huge tits!

So at one time I was big. Like 210lbs. Like a size 20. Which, is not to say that those things are bad but I personally felt awwwwwwwfullllll. Chest pains, migraines, dizzy spells you name it I was dealing with it. My family has a history of heart disease, diabetes among other things so I decided one day that I'd had enough. I wasn't going to live my life taking pills and living in a constant state of anxiety. I started eating healthy and working out. I lost about 80lbs and several jean sizes. I'm now in a 6. Really, though, I don't like the whole number thing with jeans because you can have 50 pairs of 8's or 2's or 10's and they're all the same size but to give you a reference point I shrank quite a bit.

I hate clothes. I hate them. They continue on a daily basis to taunt me and distract me. I hate shopping for them and most days I even hate wearing them. Not that I would rather be naked but I just hate that they are so linked to my self worth. I can logically understand that being thin doesn't make you happy or feel beautiful. But my knee jerk reactions, well those I have a much harder time reigning in.

At this point I don't have many things. I mean I'm homeless, I have 3 pair of pants, no car and I don't see that this will be changing any time soon. So the things I do wear are pretty important to me. Sooooo, when I randomly pull on a pair of pants that I haven't worn in awhile, if they are the slightest bit snug it ruins my day.

But......

This is the thing that really pisses me off. I go to see people I knew back in the day and they say things like, "Oh hey! What happened to that little chubby girl you used to be?" Or "You used to be the fat one!" Or "Yeah I can see you've lost weight. What are you a size 12?" (Again not a bad size to be. But when their faces sneer and growl at me, it's frustrating!) Or "My God! Your tits are huge!" All of these things have been said to me. The list grows every day. All spoken by women. Ladies, do me a favor. Shut up! Stop, please! It dents my brain! I can barely function as a normal thing in the first place.

Anyway, here's the moral of the story. Clothes suck, the media sucks, women suck at talking objectively about other women and apparently I still need to lose weight.