Operation: Senior Stripper

Today, for some reason, I can stop thinking about this weird day that I had at my old job. I was in my "office".... See quotations are applicable here and not just pretentiously obnoxious because my office was one of those portable buildings that had been converted into an office space. I know what you're thinking and yes it WAS rather glamourous, complete with 2 large standing filing cabinets, my desk, which didn't have a real drawer just a space that pulled out and had no sides on it. This guaranteed that daily, my desk contents would vomit themselves out onto the floor. Also in this glorified closet were the desk that belonged to my boss (which had real drawers) and a printer that made so much noise it sounded as if a small jet airplane had settled itself onto said filing cabinets. There was also a window unit, for heating and cooling purposes, directly behind me. I feel the temperature settings would be best described in terms of sports drink titles. Those titles would be something like "Arctic Chill" or "I'm sweating my fucking balls off because it's so mutherfucking hot in here". So, maybe that last one isn't a sports drink flavor but maybe it should be. Anyway, I was just getting ready to go to the conference room to get a cup of coffee, even though I didn't like coffee and still don't free will always be the right price. I was thinking about how I'm ok with vanilla flavoring, artificial creamer and instant coffee but my God if they don't have real sugar I might set a baby on fire. I was in luck and they had all of them. I walked back to my office, meager goals having been completed for the day and then I see him. An elderly man, quite elderly, just in his boxers.... Let me explain that where he was getting undressed was the floor of a large gas and haz mat plant and not his personal old guy dressing room! In fact, it is a big warehouse sized room, with pumps for putting very dangerous gases into very dangerous cylinders. There were a few offices sectioned off but he was standing right in the middle of the floor, in the path that the forklifts took to haul pallets of aforementioned "blowing your face off" materials to and from staging areas, for loading and unloading. I double taked and then made a bee line for my office. Allow me to describe this zealous senior citizen for you. He was wearing plaid boxers with the super baggy bum, that all grandpa's seem to have. Not that I'm checking out the bums of the elderly just that, well, it's something I noticed. He also had on a white undershirt, black socks, loafers, giant molester sunglasses and my favorite part an Indiana Jones type hat. What clothing he was changing into I have no idea because for one thing I thought I was imagining things, seeing ghosts or something and for another thing, he was fucking getting dressed and it would have been rude to gawk.....for much longer than I already had. The next day I asked everyone about the man. Was it exhibitionist Wednesday and I just didn't get the memo? Did I finally snap and for some reason the one thing I was imaging was old men changing? No one knew anything. It was like a bad sitcom. People thought I was crazy for the majority of the day. My boss mounted an investigation, which brought at least five of the guys to the office to laugh at me but no information. Operation Senior Stripper was not going anywhere until one of the guys at the front counter said, "Oh, yeah! That guy came in and asked if we had a bathroom. I told him where it was and I guess he didn't find it." ............Yeah.....I guess not.